It sucks when you invest your time, energy, and affection into someone — only to realize you were a temporary part of their world. It sucks even more when the next girl who comes along convinces your ex to commit, to get married, to live out the version of that you were hoping to live out yourself.
If this has happened to you more than a few times, it can make you wonder why you’re always the temporary one, the short-term one, the one who is only in love for a little while.
When you’re a temporary lover, heartache becomes your best friend. You don’t find it all that hard to form connections with people, but you have a hard time that connection. You have a hard time keeping the relationship alive. Since you’ve fallen for so many people who haven’t felt as strongly as you, you know what it feels like to get hurt. You know what it feels like to have your heart shattered.
When you’re a temporary lover, you wonder whether you’ve been doing something wrong. You’re good enough to convince someone to date you but not good enough to convince someone to keep you. After a while, they always become bored. They break up with you or cheat on you or find someone else. They’ll leave you alone while they wander off to find someone permanent, someone who isn’t you.
When you’re a temporary lover, you develop trust issues and commitment issues and abandonment issues. You’re afraid to get close to anyone because you’re afraid they’re going to leave the same way everyone else has left. You’re afraid you’re going to be the only one who grows attached, and will end up getting screwed over.
When you’re a temporary lover, you wonder whether there’s even a point in dating. You feel like no matter how hard you try to keep someone interested, they’re going to wander off after getting to know you. It doesn’t seem to matter how much effort you put into someone or how much space you give someone. Either way, you get the same results.
When you’re a temporary lover, you question every single move you make. You wonder whether you’ve been going about this dating thing all wrong. Should you stop using dating apps to find love? Should you stop moving so fast? Should you stop moving so slow? Should you wear something different, act different, text different?
When you’re a temporary lover, it can severely lower your self-esteem. It can trick you into feeling like you’re going to be alone forever, when really, you just haven’t found the right love.
When you’re a temporary lover, it’s easy to wonder whether you’re ever going to find someone who sticks around, but you have to hold onto the hope that the right person is out there. You have to trust that, once you meet them, they aren’t ever going to leave you. They aren’t going to be able to imagine a world without you.